NOWHERE in the world is there a sport where amateur's talk about their "game" as if we give a crap. Not only that, but no where in the world is a sport that is more captivating and frustrating at the same time. BTW, if you have a handicap over 20, you dont have a "game" you have a "hobby". Its funny how people talk about one shot they had but fail to disclose the fact that they shot a 110. Woopie-do, you chipped in from the fringe to save DOUBLE PAR. I'd rather listen to Al Bundy telling tell me how he scored four touchdowns in one game for Polk High. I will have a ranking based on handicaps coming soon, moving on.
Do you have friends that discuss their pick up YMCA basketball game? Flag football league? Slow pitch softball? NO! because they know how STUPID AND MEANINGLESS IT IS! No one talks about the 3 pointer you hit, no one talked about their diving catch. They talk about where they played and that they shot an 80. Who cares, you shot an 80. You're good, not good enough to do anything of great significance. Its like shooting 10 of 15 in pickup basketball. So what, you had some fat out of shape guy guard you, try doing it with Tony Allen guarding you. Not only that, but lets see you shoot an 80 at Pinehurst No.2 and not your local muni with a 65 rating. Who cares? You're golf game has as much meaning as Fred from accounting who rides his 10-speed bike around town dressed up in some Lance Armstrong costume.
I'm not discouraging people from playing golf, I'm discouraging people from being total dicks about their golf game thus not being dicks in life.
Not every low handicapper is a douche, and not ever high handicapper is a nice guy. I know a few low handicappers that are very nice, and ive dealt with some mid handicap assholes. What gets me is that they treat their game as if it has any impact on their real lives or careers. Nope, none. ZERO. Not only that, but I love when you see something called a "Golf Tournament". Listen, if you are playing a SHOTGUN or a SCRAMBLE, ITS NOT A TOURNAMENT, ITS AN OUTING!" Outings are different from Tournaments. Not the same, NOT AT ALL ALIKE. Unless we are talking about single stroke play for $$$, that is a tournament. If you are using handicaps to figure your scoring, its an outing. Why is it the low handicappers fault that the other guy sucks? Why should their be strokes given to him. Sorry, NO SALE. The AM TOUR is a great idea, they have flights. Where you see guys suck less than the others, but they at least separate the handicaps. In my mind, if a high handicap shoots a 100, and because of his handicap he beats a low handicap who shot an 80, is bullshit. 80 is better than 100, THATS IT. GAME OVER.
And another thing, WOMEN GOLFERS ARE NOT SLOW. They arent. In fact, id rather play with a woman. They go to their ball...and hit it. Guys, go to their ball, break out the rangefinder. Take 5 swings with the club. Lines up, swings the club again....THEN FUCKING TOPS it down the fairway. Wow, I want those 5 minutes back. And lets face it, women who play golf, are automatically hot....moving on. Ive had guys say "women are so slow". No they are not. This isnt shopping where we KNOW that men and women have different shopping habits. Men are like women shopping. they go through all this crap to hit one shot where women will use the one reliable club the whole time. Let me tell you this, BAD doesnt mean LONGER rounds. You can still play poorly and play within four and a half hours, its because you take a shit ton practice swings, drink the beer, text your gf on the phone, then tell your wife that you have no gf, and tell her that you love her and that you just parred a par 5 (easier to do in my mind). Then eventually hit. Women, find ball, take club, hit ball. SIMPLE!
I like it when people play bad and own up to it. I LOVE IT, HONESTY. Its like me, when my coach was like, how are you playing. I say "LIKE SHIT!" For me like shit is in the 80's, but I know I suck and wont run around with my penis in my hand talking about how i played. My friends will tell you, I hate talking about my game unless im asked. I wont say "Yeah, I shot (insert number) at (course). No one cares. Even though golf is my day job, Im very passive about it.
I've tired myself out....
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